Marriage Tips: Woman, marriage and sex.

Marriage and sex is a topic of conversation that I hear over and over. Men are consistenly complaining that their wives are not interested in sex. "After we got married, had kids, got older, the sex just stopped." Men are complaining that their wifes do not want to have sex, and women are complaining that their men are not giving them kind of sex they desire. It seems that everyone has gotten so caught up in complaining, the thought of actually doing something to repair there sex life is unthinkable.

I have a great idea... how about trying to ask your wife what YOU can be doing differently to make her want to have sex. I am here to tell you, women want sex just as much as men. We are easy... we just want your attention! Your undivided attention. We want to feel sexy, we want to feel desired, we want you to flirt with us like you do with the cute girl at the supermarket. It is not rocket science! If you could give us half the attention that you put into making your boss happy, we would be calling our girlfriends bragging with excitment. This is how affairs happen, men and women just get too lazy to actually change their own relationship. The easiest solution, if my husband/wife isn't meeting my needs then someone else will.

Communication is a facet in many parts of your marriage. You talk about the kids, money, entertainment and your friends... what about your sex life?

A healthy open sex life is the best cure for many issues in your life. When I am having a bad day and my husband gives me that little extra attention it makes everything feel so much better.

What about romance? What is romance anyways.... For women we see this soap opera fantasy romance and wonder why we are not as sexually desired by our husbands.

I know first hand how hard it is to tell our husbands exactly what we need sexually. Years ago I told my husband that I needed more "romance" sexually. His typical question is "what do you mean?" This is a man that can take apart any engine and construct a massive building but cannot figure out how to romance his wife... perhaps he did have some manuals. Do men need manuals for romance? We are their manuals, however much we hate that they do not have the natural instinct to just "know" what we want and need, this is a part of keeping your marriage healthy and have an amazing sex life.

I eventually gave up on my husband after his "ridiculing" comments on me wanting more romance. I felt that I did not need to lead him by the hand step by step. After all, I go out of my way to catch little clues on things that make him happy. I had the typical idea that he should just be interested in going out of his way to be more romantic. I married a man this is overactive, he consistently has about 15 different projects going on at one time which non of them are close to completion. So needless to say, my whining about romance is the least of his concerns.

My expections of romance are now just lost in my head, causing me to get jealous when my friends tell me what there husbands do for them.

My life use to revolve around my husband. I would do absolutely anything, anytime for him. I thrived on making him happy and I would justify it by saying "I am just the nurturing kind, it makes me happy to take care of him." So I had exptations set so high that there was not anway he could ever be romantic enough.

Giving up on something that you desire leaves an emptiness within you. I never brought up my feelings on how much I was needing romance again. We have a great sex life and just like many others we go through phases of our sex life ranging from the exciting, flirting, can't wait to have sex to the less exciting "you just wanna do it!"

A healthy sex life is extremely important through out your marriage. But it cannot be just one partner working at it, both must have the desire to please the other endlessly. I am using romance as the example of womens desires, this is not always the case. Each woman is different and I am sorry men but it is your husbandly duties to know what your wife needs sexually. If you do not know... take the time to figure it out.

I think of it as, kind of like taking care of your automobile. You would never drive your vehicle without some kind of maintenance right? And many men would never drive their vehicle without adding some sort of "accessories." I know from my husband that any time he is adding anything to his truck he spends hours reading, surfing the internet, talking to his buddies, and researching. So I would like to hear a logical answer why men cannot figure out how to just give that little bit of romance we are needing? I do not need every day of the week to be filled with endless romance. But I do need the out of the blue, something that I am not expecting, thrill me, sweep me off my feet romantic night. I am still at a loss on how to get this...

I do however refuse to allow my frustration and disappointment of not being fullfilled romantically to interefere with our sex life. I love sex! I will say it again... I love sex!!! I love sex with my husband! Of course every encounter is not the "wow" that was amazing... but on average it is incredible.

You are going to get out of any situation what you put into it. I want to make the most of every experience in my life for the rest of my life. It has taken me a very long time to figure that out. I do not want to complain, I do not want to make huge issues out of minor things. Pick your battles in your marriage. My husbands grandma told me the best thing last summer, she said "fertilize the grass you have." I believe that if more people spent a little extra time putting effort into their marriages there would not be so many divorces.