Lasting Romance…
that elusive experience that comes and goes. When we have it we think it will last forever, when we don’t we worry that it will never come again. It is an experience that so many crave yet have had so little of in their lives.
True romance feels good. It should not frighten you. If it does not feel good to you then you are confusing romance with all the bad things that happens in dysfunctional relationships.
Do you remember how good it felt when you begin falling in love with your husband? The intensity of these good feelings come from our connection with our Source, from many spiritual beings, including our own Inner Being, radiating their enthusiasm and excitement that we have found
our heart’s desire.
This is why they are so powerful. Good feelings always result from being in alignment with the whole of our being and what we have been asking for.
If you already have romance in your life, whether it is a new
relationship or one that you have had for a while, you are in a very good place. Your dominant vibration is one of great happiness, great joy and great passion.
That means you have an incredible connection with your source. You should understand that this is responsible for many of the other wonderful things that are falling into place in your life right now. If you don’t have romance in your life, but you want it, then you are going to have to bring yourself to that place.
You are going to have to romance yourself. You are going to have to treat yourself wonderfully and give yourself love and nurturing and caring and bring yourself into a place of great joy and passion for life.
Who wants to be around an unhappy person? No one. Who wants to be around someone with misery in their life?
Very few people want that. If they do want that in their life, do you want them in yours?
So you have to take care of yourself. Look after yourself. Nurture and love yourself, take yourself out to dinner. Buy yourself wonderful things. Look in the mirror and flirt with yourself. Challenge the negative messages others have given you.
Find things within you that contradict those negative messages. You need to feel loveable for someone to want to love you and for you to let it in. If you are in a relationship now and it does not have the level of romance in it that you want or you want more from it, then you are the one who is going to have to create that.
You are going to have to make yourself more available for that. You are going to have to treat yourself better so that you are in a better feeling place so that you are more attractive to your partner.
And if this does not rekindle the flame in the heart of your partner it will repel them and attract one that is better suited to whom you are now.
Romance is about relationships and getting to know another person. It is about the discovery of your own beauty through the eyes of an attentive other. Part of what makes it feel good, of what keeps you open to receiving, is your recognition of qualities that you appreciate in this other person. It is your focus on the beauty you find in them.
What makes Romance go bad? When does it stop feeling good and start feeling bad? When you discover and focus on things you do not like in your husband. Focusing on negatives will only produce bad energy. Instead focus on positive, remember all of the reasons you fell in love and what
drew you to your spouse.
Accepting someone with all there faults is a positive trait for yourself. You also have faults that your spouse loves and accepts you for.
Only you have the ability to make your self unhappy, you hold the control in your life. You can only influence others lives, not control them. Most relationships suffer from a break down in focus way before any of the more serious problems occur. One event at a time each person notices something they don’t like in their partner. Then they focus
on it and make it a little bigger.
When you worry about something your partner did or does, and you tell others about how annoying it is, you are focusing your attention on it and you are shifting your vibration so that it matches those same unwanted behaviors. You are actually turning yourself into a magnet for more such experiences. Not only that but if you are telling others about it you are probably setting up resentments in them towards your partner. So now there are two people holding negative energy towards your partner.
Your friend may even begin to distance themselves from you because of the negative energy they perceive that you are making them feel. Can you see how this would affect you?
Can you see how this is not romantic energy you will be feeling, or even open to feeling if you are holding such thoughts in your mind?
Can you see how this would affect your partner? Creating such negative energy with your friends about your spouse only sets up the mindset that your friends will also have a negative outlook on your spouse. You are your spouses only defender, when you project support, love, and positive energy to others on behalf of your spouse it shows that you are, yourself in positive energy and a respectful relationship.
We all respond to our feelings and the feelings we pick up from others much more than we consciously realize. These feelings push and pull us, most don’t know why they go where they do, but yet they do go. Your work is to become conscious of the energies at play in your life and romantic relationships give you plenty of chances to generate the widest variety of feelings.
Negativity that you feel towards your partner will be noticed. Most people are not aware enough to turn away from this negativity so you are likely to arouse similar negativity within them or push them away from you if they do not wish to engage in them.
If your partner did something you did not like, of course you will feel bad. But the solution, the answer to the desire that is born from that event, comes from focusing on what you do desire. You don’t do battle with the problem, you turn away from it and walk towards what you do want, which is a positive side. Showing support and positive energy will resolve you wanting to focus on the negative feeling you have.
When I am having a negative feeling about my husband I stay focused on many things about him that I love and appreciate. I focus on some of the romantic vacations we have taken together and on all of the many ways that he makes me happy and works hard to provide for our
family.
Here is where so many relationships go wrong. When you hold on to past issues....
There is this accumulation process that most people do when
something hurts them, they hang on to it and when other painful events occur at later times those old hurts also come to the foreground and receive focus. Even though I know how destructive this can be, I still catch myself doing it.
When I know that my husband is having a bad day I am more
understanding when he gets agitated easily, or perhaps says hurtful things on the whim. I try to focus on positive things that he does for me, or something funny he has done recently. This give me more compassion in the moment that he is unhappy.
I also reminded myself that I am a good partner. I treat him well, I have done nothing wrong. All of these thoughts helped me to feel better about myself and remain centered.
Things like this used to cause us many hours or even days of
disconnection. I am certain that the shift I made in my energy made the difference in this case.
So often people think that the romance in their life is due to the things they do. I know it is easy to believe this.
However, if your actions are not in alignment with your thoughts and feelings then you are only wasting your energy and cutting yourself off from your Source.
These are very helpful, but the actions you take must be inspired actions; inspired by the love and appreciation you have for your partner.
So keep seeking out those things to admire and appreciate
in your partner and in yourself.
